| (no subject) |
[May. 21st, 2008|02:07 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  ungrateful | ] |
Because I am a tool, I'm sitting on my ass in Greece while my lovely girlfriend is at home folding brochures about consent and saving the world. I don't even appreciate this trip, because I hate the beach and sunshine. God knows I don't need any more sand in my vagina. I'm a little disappointed, actually, because I've wanted to travel to Greece for like a WHOLE MONTH, and now I just miss my dark lair that smells like boys and morning breath.
The good thing is that Greece has a strong tradition of male-male barebacking, so I feel a little more at home. Last night, when I felt it was safe and dark enough to emerge from my hotel room, I met a large man named Alessandro and we made sweet boy-man love in his cave by the sea. He rubbed olive oil on me and let me fuck his goats. It was goaty.
Also, I'm making progress:
 |
|
|
| Let's play tummysticks |
[Apr. 27th, 2007|10:12 am] |
I can feel his anguish. It's sexual and violent.
I just wish he'd take his bug suit off and dance for me. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 29th, 2006|11:47 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | indescribable | ] |
. |
|
|
| (sad face) |
[Feb. 15th, 2006|09:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  emo | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the sound of my heart shattering into a million pieces | ] |
I just joined ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) emo_kids_r_we. I'm so glad I found a spot where I can freely express my emo emo kid emotions.
OMG. Don't you guys like LOVE Linkin Park? Because I know I do! And what about Hilary Duff? She reminds me of Anne Frank. Do you guys like Anne Frank? Because I do. Anne Frank was a babe. Especially when she wrote about her clit. Finger-lickin' good, let me tell you.
I stayed in my room all day today and only came out three times - once to shower and twice to go to the bathroom - because no one comments on my LiveJournal anymore. Does anyone even read this anymore? One of these days I should just slit my wrists and bleed until one of you shit-sucking cock pigs leaves me a comment.
Yesterday I sat outside the HOL (or what used to be the HOL) and wept bitter tears of remorse for three hours. I've never felt such sorrow in my entire life (WHICH IS A LONG TIME), not even when my grandma died (of course, she DID fuck my dog Cinnamon up the ass with a dildo so hard that now whenever she sees a sausage link she wimpers).
G2G. Time to masturbate to Anne Frank.
P.S. Happy belated (and bequeathed) Valentine's Day, Di. |
|
|
| My new old passion. |
[Nov. 28th, 2005|11:59 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  chipper. | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | AFI - Bleed my Own Blood | ] |
I have given up the usurping of Middle Earth and my quest to become the Lord Voldemort of World of Warcraft for this.
It's my new favorite game. I play it every spare second I have. Every second I'm not actually cutting my own wrists. It's almost therapeutic.
P.S. Like my new icon? It speaks to my soul, bequeathedly. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 26th, 2005|02:23 pm] |
My soul is blacker than a chain-smoker's lungs, blacker than a lump of coal found in a Christmas stocking on a cold winter's morn. To reflect the black, black state of my black, black soul, fate bestowed unto me black Risk pieces. As I type this, my black army of death and destruction is taking over Middle Earth, and all the while my soul is dripping with my inky black life force (or should I say death force?).
I just found out that Di took a picture of her googly tits with her webcam and sent said picture to John and BRB SHIT I SLIT MY WRISTS WHEN I STARTED WRITING THIS ENTRY AND OH MY GOD THERE IS BLOOD FILLING UP THE SPACES BETWEEN THE KEYS ON MY KEYBOARD AND DEATH IS IMMINENT SHIT SHIT SHIT S |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 8th, 2005|03:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On | ] |
I was almost happy today. I had just finished playing WoW for 15 hours when Di called me and wanted to get food. I told her I felt too fat, but she held a knife to my throat and forced me eat seven cheeseburgers, four slices of pizza, and sixteen gallons of ice cream anyway. After I finished purging, I couldn't find my razor. I must have left it on the dresser at the hotel I stayed in on my last ridiculously expensive European vacation, or maybe I dropped it into my $7,000 plate of pesto. All this money makes me feel so desolate inside, and now I don't even have Mr. Razorkins to console me.
I love my dog and promise to kill myself if anyone should barbecue her. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 9th, 2005|10:16 pm] |
I made this.
I made it for you.
And for Aaron. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 5th, 2005|10:13 pm] |
Hi, everyone. It's been a long time. Thanks for not writing, visiting, or calling. I could have hanged myself in the closet, and you never would have known the difference. I fucking hate you all.
I'm in college now, but it doesn't really matter, because my life is just as sad as it's always been. At least I have WoW to get me through the nights. All the lonely, painful nights.
The best thing about college is my dreamy, ambiguously gay roommate, Jorge. He sleeps with his cell phone in his fist and people call him at all hours. I wish my friends needed me like that. I wish I had friends.
I guess Di's here, too. Sometimes I don't notice. I don't need a girlfriend as long as I can run instances.
I miss my dog, but I give Jackie full permission to tear that bitch apart.
By the way, I love manateez.
 |
|
|
| </3 |
[Sep. 8th, 2005|01:57 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | the angst is strong with me | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sweet sweet Chester... | ] |
All of you people can go to Hell!! I purposely go a week without updating this thing, to see if anybody notices, if anybody cares, but does anybody?!? NO!! You all just went about your lives as if nothing was wrong, nothing missing. Is this all I mean to you? When I don't post for a while I expect somekind of reaction, I expect people to worry, but now I can plainly see you all hate me! And how come whenever I do post, people rarely comment? Can't anyone just be like, "oh Matt, I can't believe your life is so miserable. You have the worst luck out of anyone. Come rest your head in my bossom and let me hold you"? GOD!!! Everytime I update this stupid thing, I cut myself once for each comment I feel I should get, and when nobody comments, I cut myself once again for each comment I feel I deserve. You people should read this thing like the bible. You should come home from class and go "Gee golly,I sure do hope Matt posted. His pain speaks to me." But no, you all are too caught up actually living your own lives to care about my rantings. Fine I say!!!. At least I still have Chester. Chester always understands... |
|
|
| Should I bite her ear? |
[Sep. 1st, 2005|09:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | uh oh. | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sum 41 - Two Minutes of Torrid, Torrid Passion | ] |
After that terrible, terrible comment on my second-to-last post, I spent some alone time. Is two minutes really that bad? I wasn't sure if the mean, mean person who posted that comment was being sarcastic or sincere... but if they were sincere, why didn't they leave their name or contact information? I yearn for new friends. To abuse me further, of course. That way I have an excuse to sink deeper into the dank pool of despondency that is my horribly wretched existence.
But seriously, I thought two minutes was so good. Especially for a dame so stunningly beautiful! With more curves than the Indy 500! I walked up to the couch and said, "I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I sure will make your bed rock!" I was so suave. PREPOSTEROUSLY suave. And she said, "Indubitably." It was magickal. ...*sigh*!
Sorry, I started daydreaming for a second, there. So I don't know what to do about this whole two-minute ordeal! I hope I didn't scare the little dear away... I hope she'll return to me, so we can live in a marshmallow castle amongst the clouds, happily ever after! Does anyone have any advice for improving stamina in the region which is below the mason-dixon line? I've heard picturing Hannibal Lecter works for some. Any more ideas?
Thank you everyone, I really appreciate your help!
<3 MXtt.
(The X makes me X-TREME!!!11~) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 1st, 2005|08:30 pm] |
I JUST SPILLED MILK ON DI'S FLOOR. Oh my God. Oh my God. Her parents just had her carpet cleaned yesterday, and then I had to go and FUCK EVERYTHING UP when I spilled milk on the floor. She'll never forgive me. Her carpet will smell like milk FOREVERRRRRRR. She'll never speak to me again ! What will I do ?!
She said she wasn't upset about the spilled milk, but I knew she was just hiding her feelingz. I can't just ignore my pain like her; I tried to show her how much I hated myself by trying to strangle myself with a GameCube controller cord, but then she yelled and wouldn't talk to me ! I'm so misunderstood.
I can't handle this. Shitz, I G2G, my veins itch !
If only you were here, Xtina. I know you'd understand. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 1st, 2005|11:09 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | my heart shattered into pieces | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the sound of my large heaving sobs | ] |
So yesterday I made a mistake; I was unfaithful to Di. I was walking outside, and there she was, the most lovely, the most delicate, the most amazing creature I have ever seen. I went up to her expecting nothing, but she ended up giving me the world. We talked all day, we rolled in the grass, we watched the sunset, and when it came time, we went back to my bedroom for the most amazing two minutes of my life. When I awoke though, she was gone, and so was my computer. So i will leave you now with a picture of the one that got away. The one that stole my hard drive...and my heart.
( click here, i can't bear to look myself )
if you've seen her, please, i beg of you, let me know!! |
|
|
| don't fucking ask me for a subject, i'm too enraged |
[Aug. 31st, 2005|06:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | silence | ] |
Up until about 10 minutes ago, my favorite band ever EVER EVARRR \m/ was Staind (NOT STAINED, you goddamn shitsucking cockpigs! Staind is far too B@D@$$ for the letter E). It used to be that Staind's lyrics were bequeathed with RAGE, ANGST and DEPRESSION (otherwise known as RAD), but then I guess Aaron Lewis (the lead singer of Staind) got some extensive counseling or started taking his pills or something because now his songs have hopeful lyrics and are written in the major instead of minor mode.
I don't know what I'm going to do. Last night I wrote a shadowed and unearthly opus in an attempt to convey my emotional abyss:
Untitled
the night falls as if slain by the sun, entwined are we.
the salvation for which you sacrifice yourself
flares once, then dies,
smothered by a velvet ebon nothingness.
all hope must sicken and die.
your passion throbs no more.
how could you tear us asunder?
our dark emotions surround us, crying,
save us from ourselves.
I don't use capital letters when writing poetry. It's almost like the capital letters weigh me down, and the deeply spiritual message of my dark poetry cannot soar in the sky, black with storm clouds and impending doom.
That's all for now. I have to cut a pentagram into the back of my neck with a penknife and pray to Our Very Own Darkly Lord Satan that Aaron Lewis will see the light... so to speak. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 30th, 2005|02:11 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Christina Aguilera - Boozin' Slutzzzzz | ] |
Dear LiveJournal,
Jackie told me to die in Seattle. It seemed like a really good idea, since Seattle is the world capital of depression and suicide. It's a city of sad ! Just like my the inside of my black heart.
Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to throw myself off the top of the Space Needle, but I was feeling sort of mellow while we were watching "The Wizard" because I know that I'll never get the chance to meet Fred Savage in person, so I hid in the hotel bathroom and cut myself with Di's razor. Fuck you, Winnie.
On the plane ride home, my glasses tore a hole in my favorite bean bag pillow (the one with the pentacle on it !) while I was sleeping on it. I decided that it'd be a really good idea to take some of the beans and put them in my eyes to soak up the tearz, but I forgot to take them out. When I got home, my dad started saw my red, irritated eyes and yelled at me again because boys don't cry.
Someone also barbecued my dog ! I don't know who it was, but I bet she's fucking awesome and should get lots of money.
Peace out niggaz,
M@ |
|
|
| My soul is fermenting. |
[Aug. 22nd, 2005|09:18 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  reassured | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | sad kids - i'm too angsty for puncutation or capitalization | ] |
Di got back the other day, saw my thighs, and got really upset about it. She just can't understand that I need some way to EXPRESS all my EMOTION. I just don't know how to CONTROL it, sometimes. She was such a bitch!!11~ about it, too! She told me to stop being so fucking emo. I'm SO not emo it's laughable. I'm totally PUNX RAWK SK8ER, not EMO. EMO kids are SUCKERS. God. Suckers.
Being the PUNX RAWK SK8ER that I am, it's very regrettable that I don't know how to skate. I used to be of the persuasion that you didn't need to know how to skate to be a SK8ER, but recently I've been feeling very hollow inside. Di telling me I was emo made me think of some things. Like, what if I'm just a poser? What if my entire life is a sham? What if this journal is just my cry for attention, attention that I don't really need?
...
Then I laughed a little, because I am the most HARDCORE EXTREME punx rawk sk8er that ever lived. All the other punx rawk sk8ers look up to me! I can't be a sham! How delightfully silly.
So I put a hot iron on my leg to make myself feel better about everything. What a relief! |
|
|
| My thighs are ribbons. |
[Aug. 16th, 2005|08:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bright Eyes- I'm so emo | ] |
I found out today that all the cool kids chew gum. Maybe I should start chewing gum too. I want so badly to be cool. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
mattangelbaby69's journal